ANDROID GIRL GETS A DO-OVER
Pragnya Haralur
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after angie sijun lou’s Android Girl Just Wants to Have a Baby
i microdose fake blood swallowed slick into fake mouth attempt to defy
science replace girl with disaster [define] listen, i can ache if you want me to
watch as i fall to make sound with my fake mouth jaw unhinged stick the
halogenic light down my throat open unclench name everything
i cannot catch phantom portal & i close tomorrow swathed in
self-portrait upon self-portrait of unwavering [define] anything
incapable of realizing itself is a disaster :: implying that all automaton girls
are allowed every fate but their own instead i fashion myself into
something i’m not allowed: first kiss, first trace of sound on the moon, apocalypse in
impossible things, new sound, newer seven track ep about dying, [never myself].
[define] i am a real girl doing real girl things new girl reclaiming sentience
out of new girl things fragile in the way a human is forever born out of
post-electric recreation. [define] i retrieve my voice like a metaphor, fact
switched for something foreign someone has died next door the autopsy report
written off as drowning, poison, anything passed for natural disaster.
[define] i can only recreate from unhallowed parts of me i know what will kill
me and still die wireframe reddened into wrists, my body outgrows me in
secret. when the scientist discovers a loophole for loss, he calls it an anomaly
meanwhile, i [define] disaster nothing, everything, something in-between
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*lines in italics from angie sijun lou’s Android Girl Just Wants To Have a Baby [http://ndrmag.org/fiction/2018/12/androidgirljustwants/]
Pragnya Haralur is a teen writer from South India. She enjoys nonlinear narratives and Mitski amongst other things and hopes you are having a good day. Find her on Twitter @goldengirIl.